


Love It If We Made It

by Hotgitay



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Adorable, Angst, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Marriage, Married Couple, Married Life, Multi, Other, Romance, Same Sex Marriage, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-17 18:39:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 9,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17565881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotgitay/pseuds/Hotgitay
Summary: Two very different men whom both are Seattle firefighters deal with trying to manage their secret relationship Captain Robert Sullivan and his boyfriend fire Chief  Lucas Ripley haven't always had  the most perfect relationship but they sure do love each other they have been on and off again so many times.  how long before the rest of station 19s fire department find out will they even survive the truth about their relationship going public





	1. Stronger Together

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BrittanyNicole22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrittanyNicole22/gifts).



> This is based on my wattpad fanfiction:Love it if we made it you can find me on wattpad under myfairlilymunster anyways hope you enjoy it

Lucas's pov:  
I always have to be careful around Robert. I don't  mention his wife around him since I know it's a trigger for him. The anniversaries of her death are always the worst, not just for me but it's harder on Robert. I hate seeing him hurt. We had been dating again after a mutual breakup. We weren't in a healthy place in our relationship.

Robert's pov:

I struggled with trusting my ex because a part  
of me still blames Lucas for my wife being dead. I moved on eventually. I was surprised when Lucas confessed to me one day out of the blue that he slept with one of the female rookies. The rookie in question was Hughes. She was one of the rookies that I was in charge of training. The news was hard for me to process, but we've been through worse. The hook up had happened after Lucas had suggested to take a break, to which I  agreed on. "You aren't mad at me are you?" Lucas's voice trembled. He was afraid of Robert being pissed off at him, but Robert threw him for a loop.

Robert's pov:  
I let out a sigh, looking over at my boyfriend, "What's done is done, no use in regretting it. I'm not going to judge you for that. I've never judged you, not once. You've always been honest with me from the get go. I'm not mad at you. You are the only person besides her I've ever let in. I don't like letting people in. I know you don't talk about her around me, but I'm a grown ass man whom can handle having a serious discussion. I've moved on. It hasn't been easy, but with you I've moved on."

Lucas's pov:  
I wasn't expecting that sort of response from him nor did I expect Robert to mention his wife. Robert leaned into his side as they were snuggled up on the couch together. I nervously turned to face Robert whom looked up at me, "It's just.. I know anniversaries are touchy for you. I can't take back my role in what happened that day and  Hughes.. it just happened. I'll make it up to you baby I swear I will. We've been together for a long time now. We've had our ups and downs. No relationship is ever perfect but we are stronger together."


	2. At least give it a try

Lucas's pov:  
"Speaking of station 19.. it's come to my attention that you really haven't been able to relate to any of them, so I recommend you speak to Captain Herrera. See if he can offer you any advice." I mentioned as we lay in bed together. Robert laughed looking at me, "When Pigs fly! After all, they hate me. They don't really respect me. I order them around and I catch them talking shit about me."

Robert's pov:  
"At least give it a try. Who knows, maybe you'll find you have a lot more in common with them than you think." Lucas pleaded with me.  
"Fine, I'll try it but I can't promise you it's gonna change anything." I gave in to his suggestion knowing if I didn't, I'd never hear the end of it from him. "Sorry for how I acted at the training session. I snapped and it wasn't cool of me. All the laughing and the joking they were doing, I guess it triggered flashbacks of Claire. I appreciate you stepping in before it got out of hand."

Lucas's pov:  
I pulled him closer to me trying to comfort him "Of course, I've got you forever and always. I was gonna ask you about you blowing up out there." Robert shook his head sitting up on the bed, "You don't let me get away with anything do you chief? What's my punishment?" His tone was laced with flirtation. He was seducing me. I in turn challenged him back   
"Insubordination can get you in serious trouble captain."

Robert's pov:  
I climbed on top of him and began sucking on his neck kissing up and down, biting at the skin. Lucas moaned. He was enjoying the pleasure I was giving him. Out of the corner of my eye I   
could see his hands gripping the bed tightly. He suddenly started doing the same to me, except he was talking dirty in my ear, "How about I fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk anymore?"  
That's what I was waiting for, "I deserve that  punishment, Chief. After all I've been very unprofessional." I purred slightly in response. As soon as I saw the smirk on his face, I knew he was going to have his way with me.


	3. Soft spot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm creating their backstory on how they got together all leading up to the first time they hooked up together also to their first breakup and the first time they got back together all of this happens a few months after Sullivan's wife Claire passed away judging by this chapter someone ahem Robert has a bit of a crush

Roberts pov:  
After Claire died, I was a mess. I changed from a sweet, friendly guy into a hardass whom could not give a fuck. I distanced myself from Lucas, after all he was the reason she died, or so I thought. 

I felt like I couldn't trust him anymore, not even as a friend. Well things took a complicated turn. It all started one night when I showed up at Lucas's place. The two of us hadn't spoken in months even though we worked together. When we did speak, it was only about work related issues. Mainly because Lucas was giving me my space. Also since I told him never to speak to me ever again. 

Lucas's pov:  
I opened the door for him. I was shocked to see him there, "Robert what are you doing here? I thought you hated me?"  
Robert asked "Can I come inside?"   
I shrugged, stating "You are always welcome here man" I opened the door, moving out of the way as Robert walked inside. 

"Robert I know I can't apologize for what happened, but if I could go back in time and change it I would. I hate that we aren't as close as we used to be. You have every right to blame me, I'd blame myself if I were you. I'm a horrible person." I exclaimed, addressing the elephant in  the room.

Robert's pov:  
"I wanted to talk about that. I don't think you are a horrible person. If anyone is horrible, it's me. I let my resentment towards you get in the way of a great friendship and working relationship. After all, we work together and as partners we have to have each other's backs. I own up to my own selfishness." I couldn't explain it. As much as I wanted to hate Lucas, I just couldn't. A part of me had a soft spot for him. My heart would skip a beat whenever I saw him. Every time we were called out on shifts together, in the aid car, even though we barely spoke to each other about anything personal and when we did speak, it was about work related subjects. 

Lucas's pov:  
Awkward silence filled the air. We were gazing at each other. My mind was racing. I thought back to one of my best memories during all the years I've known Robert.

Flashback

"I have something important to tell you Robert." I was anxious. I kinda looked down at the floor. I was worried about scaring him away. Robert noticed the worry on my face, becoming concerned, "What's wrong man?"  
I took a deep breath and looked up into his eyes, "I'm bisexual. I'm interested in both men and women.. I hope you don't think any less of me or want to stop being my best friend."   
Robert came over to me and gave me a hug, "You are you and no one can change that. Your sexuality, it's just a part of you. You will always be my best friend. This doesn't change anything. I'm proud of you for being brave, coming out isn't easy. I've never been prouder to be able call you my friend. Before anyone messes with you or says anything to you I'll kick their ass."


	4. Losing sleep

Lucas's pov:  
The tension between them was so sharp that you could literally cut it with a knife. Almost as if this conversation was leading up to this one moment.

I couldn't stop staring at Robert. I don't know how it happened, but I somehow found myself getting closer to him. I leaned in closer, my hand cupping Robert's face as our lips were about to meet, making a soft plop once our mouths made contact with each other's. I kissed him softly but slowly. I was surprised when Robert began kissing me back. 

Roberts pov:  
Although I was taken by surprise I found myself kissing Lucas back. I was enjoying it, not to mention he was a good kisser. The kiss was getting heated, tongues intertwining. I ran my hands through Lucas's hair, he stopped for a second "I want this" I reassured him my eyes locking intensely with his eyes.

Lucas's pov:  
Overtaken by desire my hands running up and down the small of Robert's back down to his waist as we deepened our fervent kissing, now turned intense passionate makeout session. We soon pulled apart and I offered him my hand, which he took, and led him into the bedroom. I pushed him up against the wall roughly. He pushed me away only to begin to strip, taking off his shirt and throwing it to the floor. His hands undoing the buttons of my dress shirt taking it off for me. 

Roberts pov:  
I began kissing his neck tenderly, leaving marks as I bit at the skin, moving us away from the wall and onto the bed. Tangled up with Lucas I began kissing him again only it was rougher. Tongues fighting for dominance, getting handsy with one another, getting carried away in the midst of all this passion which seemed to last hours and hours away into the night.


	5. Being honest

Lucas's pov:  
Ever since that fateful night he showed up at my door, we've been seeing each other for almost an entire year now. Going from being merely friends with benefits, since we mostly just hooked up with each other, straight into a serious relationship. I told him if he would let me, I'd like to give exploring being more than just friends a try. To my amazement, he agreed to it. He said he was open to giving it a try. Lately I noted Robert was being sort of distant with me. When all of a sudden he asked me if the two of us could talk about something. He said it was important, his exact words were, "we need to talk."

Roberts pov:  
"I've been thinking about how to break this to you, thought I could handle it, but I just can't. I love you, Lucas, it makes me sick that I have to do this to you. I'm being honest, it's just too soon for me to even be with someone else. I jumped into a relationship too fast, I was impulsive. You've shown me so much kindness and love over this year, I'm sorry I can't give you anything back. It's just I'm not ready. Maybe one day I'll be ready, but just not now. I hope you understand." I hated that I had to do this to him. It was a really hard decision, but I had to. I dreaded this moment for a long time, my eyes were stinging, I could feel the tears threatening to pour out. 

Lucas's pov:  
"I understand. If I put any pressure on you, that was never my intention. Just know I'll always be here for you no matter what. You need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. I promise you, together or not, I will always be a friend to you. I care about you deeply, I only want what's best for you." I wrapped my arms around him, enveloping him in a comforting hug. 

Robert's pov:  
"You didn't do anything wrong, I'm the one with the problems. I'm a mess, I admit it. I can be an asshole. There were times when you were being so good to me that I just pushed you away. I'm damaged goods. This is why I've been hesitant with putting myself out there again, knowing I'll just hurt myself even more than I've already been hurt. I'll take you up on that promise." I accepted his hug he was offering me.


	6. Another chance

Lucas's pov:  
It's been a month since Robert broke things off with me. I had no reason to be mad with him, he's still grieving over Claire. I did tell him I'd always be there for him and that we are still friends no matter what. We had a shift together, an apartment building was on fire and we saved the people whom were in the building. I turned to look for Robert when I saw him running out of one of the rooms bringing out a teenage girl whom was coughing hard. He brought her over to me and said, "She needs to go to the hospital." I called over the paramedics whom were more than happy to carry her out on a gurney into an ambulance.

Roberts pov:  
Later on after work ended, I headed home. My phone was vibrating, I turned it on and there was a text message from Lucas.

Text conversation(below)  
Lucas:Worried about you. Today was a tough day, just wanted to make sure you were okay.  
Robert:Can you come over? I wanna talk to you about something.  
Lucas:I'll be there in a few minutes.  
Robert:see you then.

Lucas's pov:  
I knocked on Robert's door and waited until he opened it, then I walked inside and sat down in the couch. I looked over at him, "What did you want to talk about?" He looked back at me, "Us. You and me. Look, I ended it because I was afraid of screwing it up. I didn't want to lose you, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I was a fool to ever let you go. I really miss you, I need you. Another chance and a fresh start would be good for us."

Roberts pov:  
"I want what you want, but I think this time we need to take things a little slower, just for your own sake. You're still grieving, I don't want you to feel rushed or like I'm pressuring you into doing anything you don't want to do." Lucas told me. I reached for his hand, "I agree it's better that way."


	7. Seen a ghost

Lucas's pov:  
"Did I ever tell you that you're an amazing   
captain?" I asked Robert, hugging him from behind his desk in his office.  
"No, but I don't mind hearing it." Robert nuzzled against me, letting his head find its way into the crook of my neck.

Roberts Pov:

"I'm proud of you baby." As soon as Lucas called me that, I couldn't help but smile at him. I responded, "That means a lot coming from you." Good thing I closed the door, otherwise we wouldn't have the luxury of having such an intimate moment together, "I mean every word of it." He whispered, his hand finding my hand, intertwining our fingers together. He kissed me on my forehead, when all of a sudden the door opened and it was Montgomery. He looked like he'd seen a ghost. He backed away slowly closing, the door before leaving. I turned to look up at Lucas. I was worried he was gonna tell everybody about what he saw, "Fuck. He knows we're together." I cursed loudly.

Travis's pov:  
I couldn't believe what I'd just saw. Captain Sullivan and Chief Ripley was kissing him. I walked back to a corner where Andy, Vic, and Maya were at. I needed to spill the tea on what I just saw.   
"Guys you aren't going to believe what just happened." Maya looked at me and asked, "What happened?" I took a deep breath before I told them.  
"I was going to ask Sullivan if I could have a day off soon so I could spend it with Grant, he wants to introduce me to some friends of his at his restaurant. Anyway, so I open the door and Ripley and Sullivan were holding hands. Ripley was hugging him from behind and he kissed him on his forehead and they were kinda nuzzling."  
"Sullivan and Ripley are a couple...I wasn't expecting that." Andy was shocked. Vic on the other hand, was embarrassed, but she kept it to herself. She hooked up with Ripley and since Sullivan and him are a thing, then that means she just slept with the captain's boyfriend. He'll probably hate her guts, "You know.. back at the academy there were rumors going around privately that Sullivan had a boyfriend. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Ripley." Maya said, reminiscing.  
"Why is this the first time I'm hearing about these rumors? I didn't hear them when I was at the academy..?" Andy raised her brow at her friend Maya.   
Maya shook her head, "Someone heard him on the phone fighting with a man. He had the speaker on his phone on and they heard a man's voice. Sullivan had at one point said something about how some men can be so stubborn, also Sullivan set off my gaydar and my gaydar has never been wrong."  
Andy and Maya looked at Vic worriedly, "You okay, Vic?"Maya asked. Vic knew she couldn't keep it a secret any longer, it was killing her so she just blurted it out, "I slept with Ripley." Andy just stared at Vic in shock. She sorta yelled but in a whisper, "You did what?!?!"

My eyes widened as I let out a whistle, "Damn  it's bad but this is some exceptionally good tea." Vic panicked "Shit! I ruined their relationship. Sullivan is gonna hate me. It's bad enough that he has a stick up his ass from being so uptight all the time."  
Andy tried to calm down Vic, "Everything is gonna be okay." Vic looked over at Andy incredulously  
while scoffing, "I fucking slept with his boyfriend, that shit isn't okay." Maya agreed, "yeah I'd be more concerned with that, but I don't think we should tell Jack, Ben, and Dean just yet. This news might be a little too much for them, especially Jack he's been acting really weird lately."


	8. Together

Jacks pov:  
I overheard Maya and Andy talking about Ripley and Sullivan being a couple. I don't know why but I was really pissed off. Too many fucking secrets in this place. I waited until Sullivan did his uniform check only to see that Ripley was there with him. He was observing everything to confront the two of them, "How long  were you two going to keep the fact that you two are dating a secret?" I asked Ripley and Sullivan in front of everyone, which drew some gasps and some looks of shock from Ben, Vic, Travis, Maya, and Andy that I had the balls to go up there and call them out.

Roberts pov:  
"We are together. Do you have a problem with that? What I do in my personal life and whom I choose to share it with romantically is none of your business, Gibson." I confessed. It felt like a weight was lifted off of me, keeping my relationship a secret for so many years hasn't been easy. I didn't appreciate the tone in Jack's voice, my voice was very stern.

Roberts pov:  
"Oh that's rich! You and Ripley being together is my fucking business if it affects my fucking job." Jack snapped at them, his eyes darkened with anger. Lately he had been lashing out at everyone and anyone from Ryan's dad, to Andy's dad, and now here he was raising his voice at the chief and the captain, "Gibson, that's enough." Lucas told him.   
Dean tried to calm down Jack only for him to push him away. His grip on him was tight, he may have scratched him, his nails digging deep into Dean's arm, throwing him away hard to the  ground and yelled in his face, "Don't touch me." Travis pulled Jack off of Dean and then he asked "Dean you okay?" He helped him up.Dean said "Gibson is strong as fuck damn he may have scratched me." 

Lucas's pov:  
I sensed that something was wrong with Jack. I simply ordered, "Gibson take the day off and go home." and with that Jack began to walk off away into the distance, "Does anyone else have a problem with us?" I asked the group. They all just shook their heads and said, "Not at all Chief. If you and Captain Sullivan are happy together, then we are more than happy for you two."

Robert then said, "We are happy together. Thank you for being so welcoming to this news. Good but I want to alleviate some worries as Gibson brought up this won't change the way I run things around here in no way will this affect anyone's jobs here."


	9. Our place

Lucas's pov:  
They had reported their relationship, which was the procedural thing to do whenever someone disclosed a romantic working relationship, to HR. HR had done an investigation, interviewing everyone at station 19 in order to make sure I hadn't been favoring the station because of the relationship. According to the family at station 19, I hadn't been. HR ultimately gave us the green light. They didn't tell me or Robert to stop the relationship, which was good for us.

Roberts pov:  
Anxiety filled up most of my time when I wasn't leading my team, but getting the answer from HR I had been anxiously waiting for, I could now finally breathe a sigh of relief. I found myself looking at a photo I had on my shelf. It was a photo of Lucas and I that we had taken during a trip we went on. I smiled to myself, remembering the fun we had.

Lucas's pov:  
I walked into our place.. did I mention we recently took a big step and moved in together? Well we did. He was the one whom suggested we move into his place, "I missed you." Robert shrieked happily, running over to me, hugging me tightly and pecking me on the lips lovingly before taking a moment to stare into my eyes deeply before grabbing my hand and leading me to the living room. I sat down on the couch and he sat down next to me, wrapping an arm around me, "You're happy I'm home aren't you?" I asked. I gathered it just by how animated he was.

Roberts pov:  
"I just missed my handsome man. You weren't answering any of my texts I sent you. I figured you were busy so that's okay. I was worried about you but you're okay, I just needed to see you." I told him, then I remembered to tell him, "Actually I have something to tell you. My mom is visiting the area and she's bringing my sister, so I thought it would be nice for them to stay with us for a while."  
Lucas stared and said, "I've been wanting to meet them ever since you told me about them."  
I squeezed his hand, "They know a lot about you, I've told them about you. My mother, she is protective over me, so is my sister. Just warning you so you know what to expect, so don't be surprised when they sit you down and ask you a thousand questions."


	10. Timing feels right

Lucas's pov:  
We were at the airport, we were going to be picking up Robert's mother and sister. I heard an older woman's voice shout out, "If it isn't my first born!" She ran over to us and embraced Robert in a tight hug. A younger woman waited patiently to hug Robert, "I missed my big brother." She told him. Robert suddenly turned to me and gestures towards them, "Lucas, this is my mother Patricia and my little sister Charlotte."

Charlotte's pov:   
"You didn't tell me your boyfriend was this good looking. You have good taste bro." I remarked. I was proud of him, although I'm always proud of my brother. My mother walked over to Lucas and hugged him, "So you're the young man whose swept my boy off of his feet. I'm a hugger, it's a pleasure to meet you, Lucas. You can call me Mama Patty." Robert grabbed his mother's bags as well as his sister's bags and brought them to the car. They drove back to Robert and Lucas's home.

Lucas's pov:

I showed Charlotte up to her room and she sat me down so we could talk, "Do you love my brother?" She asked me. I didn't even hesitate to answer, "I love him with all of my heart." She smiled hearing me say that, "You know, you're the only person he's dated since Claire died. Whenever I call him he's always gushing about you. I can hear the happiness in his voice, he was never this happy before, not even with Claire. Don't get me wrong, I loved my sister in law, but seeing how sad he was after losing her broke my heart. He's different in a good way and he's doing better, you've been really good for him."

Patricia's pov:  
I heard Charlotte and Lucas talking, I decided to drop in and join the conversation.  
"As long as you make my Robert happy you're good with me. He said you were divorced twice  is that right?" Lucas looked up at me, "My first wife Chelsea left me for a man she was having an affair with, then my second marriage to Janine.. it ended on bad terms. We knew it wasn't working, but we did try to make it work. We just grew out of love and I told her about my liking men and that was a deal breaker for her. She couldn't be with someone who was bisexual. Another thing is that I'm unable to have any kids, so that was also an issue in both of my previous marriages."

"You aren't seeing anyone else are you?" I asked him. He responded, "No I'm not. I'm fully committed to Robert, I only have eyes for him."  
That's exactly what I'd thought he'd say and it warmed my heart. "Actually... I have something I'm keeping a secret from Robert. I wanted to tell you all. I want a future with him and the timing feels right.. Mama Patty, would you let me take your son's hand in marriage?" Lucas pulled out a ring box he had hidden in his pocket and opened it, revealing a gorgeous platinum band, "You have my blessings, Lucas." Charlotte just sighed dreamily, "I love a good proposal, can't wait for you to pop the question to him."

Roberts pov:  
"Do you see a future with Lucas?" My mother asked me. I had never thought about it until now. After being with him for so long, I didn't hesitate to answer, "Yes I do."   
"Is he good to you?" She asked me. I answered   
"He is good to me. He takes care of me, I take care of him, we take care of each other. Besides that, we have a strong bond based on trust and respect." My mother waited a bit before asking me, "Let's say a future with marriage, maybe even kids, he told me he couldn't have any kids.. would that be a problem for you?" Damn my mother did not come to play, "I never thought I'd want to get married again after losing Claire, but he's shown me that being widowed doesn't mean I have to completely be by myself. I can find love again and I've found love again with him. He's my second chance. I've always wanted a family of my own, it's not a problem for me, we'll just adopt. Biologically ours or not it doesn't matter. When we have kids we're going to love them as if they are our own flesh and blood." My mother broke out into a smile, "So you would marry him?" I chuckled, "Yes mom I would."


	11. More than ready

Lucas's pov  
We were having a romantic dinner date at the house. It was only the two of us, his mom and sister had gone out shopping. I waited a while before I got down on one knee and pulled out the ring box from my pocket, opening it and revealing the elegant platinum band, "Will you marry me?" Robert looked over at the box, then back up at me, "Yes." He smiled as he said it. I put the platinum band on his finger and then he leaned over to pull me into a sweet, passionate, loving kiss before pulling away.

Roberts pov:

I looked at myself in the mirror, raising up my  hand, staring at the engagement ring around my finger. I found myself thinking back to the first time I got married, but then I chose to stop  myself from going any further down memory lane. Even though I've moved on, there's a lot of pain over the continuous grief that I keep to myself, even though I have been opening up more to my fiancé about my grief and my memories. I showed Lucas some photos of Claire I had kept around our house, but I had put them away. Lucas has always been respectful of my choosing to talk about her and he's very patient with me. He told me that she seemed like a great person, I told him she was.. keyword being was. Speaking about her in the past tense, accepting how far I've been able to come through on my own, I can't be tied down to a ghost. I have to live for myself now. 

Roberts pov:

Lucas noticed something was off. I had on a smile which I was hiding behind after going to our bedroom. He placed soft kisses to my neck and I let him, finding comfort at the feeling of his touch. I looked down at the ring. I felt confusion, I was confused at my own emotions. "What's wrong?" He asked me, "Oh, it's silly..." I shrugged it off, not wanting to bother him with my own chaotic thoughts, but then I figured back to what I told him early on about not being afraid of having serious adult discussions, "I was thinking about Claire. Okay there, I said it." My voice broke as I yelled her name at him. I drew out a breath before looking down embarrassedly. Lucas came  closer to me, "I didn't mean to upset you, Robert. It's okay to still grieve, there's no time limit on grieving. It would be selfish of me to expect you to erase all those memories from your mind. I've  told you before, you can keep all the photos of her you want, I'm okay with it, it doesn't bother me." 

I looked up at him, tears slowly rolling down my face, "I didn't plan on becoming a widow. When I got married, it was because I loved her. I say loved because while I know she's not here anymore, it doesn't mean I'm not open to giving my heart to anyone else. I gave you my heart. It took some time, I blamed you for what happened. I've stopped blaming you, but I began to hate myself for blaming you. I developed feelings for you out of my anger I held towards you. At the same time, I'm worried about disappointing you. I know you've been divorced twice before, I don't want this, us, to fall apart and things get ruined. I worry about you a lot, I'll drive myself crazy when you don't come home. My natural instinct is to think about the worst case scenario, but it all changes whenever you walk through the door and I can breathe easier because I know you are safe and not in harms way. When I care about people, I get attached. I'm super affectionate in relationships. I have no problem with commitment, I'm not afraid of marriage. I love hard. The face I put on at work, the closed off me, is just to protect myself. I wasn't always this way. Pet names are my thing, I like to take care of you the way you take care of me. I love being with you because you are always there for me. You don't judge me, you've always been understanding and very patient with me and so loving to me when we went public. You defended me by trying to reprimand Gibson. I defended not only us, but you, because I sincerely care about you more than I've ever cared about anyone ever before. I've fallen so hard for you. I fall more in love with you every single day."

Lucas's pov:  
Robert was opening up more to me as we were talking to each other. I reassured him, "I'm not going to assume I know what you're feeling all the time, unless you tell me. You gave me some signals that you weren't okay. You hesitated, you were looking down a lot, a habit I've noticed you display whenever something's wrong. Naturally I had to ask you, but I wanted to let you tell me on your own terms, as much as you wanted to tell me. I'm not Claire, I will never be Claire, but I will damn sure not let that deter me from being the best partner I can be to you. We needed to have this discussion. If you have anymore flashbacks or memories, you need to tell me about them. I don't want you to have to suffer alone, you don't have to. I'm here for you always. I want to know everything, your fears, your secrets, your dreams, your wishes, everything. You ever need me, I'm here for you. Remember what I told you the first time we broke up, no matter what you will always have me in your corner. I will always be a friend to you, someone you can depend on, to hold you up when you need someone to fall back on, which is way more important than us being lovers."

Robert then said, "I'm more than ready to take this next step with you. You make me happy and happiness has been something I've hardly had before I let you have my heart. I want this to work so badly, I'm willing to put myself through a second marriage because I believe we can make it work. Thank you for letting me relay my worries to you. This anxiety I've felt has been bugging the hell out of me, the longer I kept quiet about it I felt as if I'd burst. I can't wait to get married to the love of my life, the man of my dreams, and someone I see being a great father to future children someday. I want that with you. If there's one thing I'm serious about it's about you. I've never been more sure of anything else before except you."


	12. The right person

Roberts pov:  
"You didn't make me captain of this station because you were sleeping with me, did you?" I asked him. It was something I've wondered before, but I honestly wanted to know the truth from Lucas whom was looking into my eyes as he said, "I recommended you for the position because of your many years of experience. You are an exceptional firefighter, one hell of a captain, and you know exactly what you are doing. You know how to lead a team efficiently and provide results from drilling discipline into firefighters. You are good at what you do, I respect and admire your drive and your passion for the job. When I heard about Captain Herrera having to leave the station, and while we were looking for replacements for him, you were the first name that came up in my head. I knew you would be a great fit for the team, you were the right person for the job." I could tell he was being sincere with me, he wasn't telling me what he thought I wanted to hear.

Lucas's pov:  
"You've always been my biggest supporter. I remember when you called me to tell me you had a station for me to whip into shape. We were doing the whole long distance thing that one time I was a captain of a station in Montana. Before that, when I got offered a job as an instructor at the fire academy here in Seattle, I was actually thrilled to be back here because I'd be able to see you again and we'd be able to actually have a conversation face to face with you  in the same room as me, being able to hold you in my arms and kissing you again. It just made me feel so much happier, I mean we talked every day on the phone, but it was nothing like being able to do it in person." Robert reminisced, his finger gently tracing along my thigh, suggestively. His eyes sparkling as they softened with every single word. I pressed a kiss to his hand, "When I became fire chief, you threw a congratulations party for me. You gave me quite the gift too, a watch that I've had my eyes on and I practically freaked out that's how amazed I was. You've always supported me too. I remember you jumping my bones that first night you came back to Seattle, just you and me wrapped up with each other. You've never been shy in bed before, you are a monster in the sack, baby."

Roberts pov:  
"When I look at you... I'm home. And I've gone so long feeling so alone. You... make me feel like I'm not alone. I don't want that to go away... I don't want you to go away, you're my person."  I confessed to Lucas, opening up once more, letting him in further. Before I knew it, he took my hand in his, raising it up so I could see the engagement ring on my finger.   
"This is a promise and I've always kept my promises to you and you know that I want to be your person for the rest of your life and beyond that. You never have to be alone again because I'll be here for you always. I love you more than anything." Hearing him say that relieved my fears. Being vulnerable isn't easy, there's always the possibility of rejection as well as judgement for allowing yourself to be emotional, even with a significant other.

Charlottes pov:  
"Show me the ring." I demanded my brother. He gave me his hand, showing off the platinum band on his finger. I examined it thoroughly, "It's so beautiful. You can tell he spent some big bucks on this." My brother grinned as he said, "Mom is going to want to help with the wedding, you know her, god help us all."


	13. Bound to happen

Jack's pov:  
Captain Sullivan had called me into his office. I had a feeling that I already knew what this was about, me exposing Captain Sullivan and his relationship with Chief Ripley in front of everyone. Not only that, he did something really reckless and probably really stupid, he picked a fight with the Chief and Captain, raising his voice at them. I walked inside and saw Captain Sullivan sitting there at his desk, drinking some bottled water. As soon as he heard the door open, he looked over at me. Captain Sullivan cleared his throat, addressing me, "Gibson, we need to have a talk." But before he could say anything else to me, I blurted out, "I apologize for picking a fight between you and Chief Ripley. What you guys do outside of the station doesn't concern me. You are right, it's none of my business. I'm sorry for exposing you two like that, it was horrible of me to do. If you want to reprimand me, go ahead. I deserve whatever punishment you see fit."

Roberts pov:  
"I thought about reprimanding you, but let me let you in on a little secret. You weren't the first person who found out, Montgomery walked in on a private conversation I was having with Chief Ripley. I'm expecting Montgomery already told everyone about what he witnessed us doing with each other. It was only a matter of time before anyone found out, it was bound to happen eventually, but that's not why I called you in here. It has a little to do with what happened that day."

Roberts pov:  
"I've been talking with the rest of station 19. They came to me, all of them expressed concern about you. I heard you lashed out at Captain Herrera and attacked Officer Tanner's father, then earlier on you attacked Miller. Gibson, you need help, you have PTSD. It's okay to not be okay, but it's not gonna help you if you hide what you are going through. I have a friend whom has a PTSD support group, I think it would be good for you." I told Jack. He looked up at me, sighing before speaking, "I'm fine, I don't need any help, Captain."

I shook my head. I knew he would be resistant to my offer, he wasn't going to go down without a fight. So I did something I rarely do, which was share information about myself with any of the team. I opened up to Herrera a bit about my past  when that storm happened. I ended up in the hospital, Lucas would visit me everyday, "This isn't similar to what you're going through, but I've been in your shoes before. I lost someone really important to me, that day has haunted me ever since. I was in denial for a long time. Chief Ripley was my best friend, he was there with me when it happened. He made a call that just so happened when the person I lost was on their deathbed. There was nothing we could do, and for the longest time, I blamed him. It ruined our friendship, I had too much pride to admit that I needed help. Chief Ripley helped me and for that I will forever be grateful to have him in my life. He even convinced me to see a grief counselor, which I did and it helped me greatly. To put it simply, what I'm trying to say is: I understand you." 

Jack's pov:  
"I'm sorry for your loss, Captain. You're right, I've been keeping this to myself for the longest time. Since the structure fire happened, I almost died and I don't know how to handle myself. I get irritated, I've been getting angry with anyone and everyone. I should see someone and this friend of yours may be able to help me better manage my PTSD. This is the first time I've ever used that word because I've been afraid if I even acknowledged it for what it was, then I'd be seen as some sort of charity case. Do you mind giving me your friends contact information?"

Captain Sullivan grabbed a piece of paper, writing down something on it. Once he was done writing, he handed it over to me. I looked at it and there was the name of some lady called Dr. Elizabeth Stone, along with her phone number attached to it, "Thank you, Captain." He gave me a reassuring smile, "Don't mention it, Gibson."


	14. The way that I see you

Lucas's pov:  
"How did it go?" I asked Robert, referring to his talk with Gibson. He handed me one of his homemade smoothies, "It went better than I expected. He was resistant at first, he told me he didn't need any help, but I got through to him. I brought up Claire, I didn't say her name, just said I lost someone close to me." Exclaimed Robert as he stood behind the kitchen counter, staring over at me.

Roberts pov:

"See, you're opening up more. Also, you helped him. I'm very proud of your growth, you have a big heart. I wish more people would see you the way that I see you." Lucas told me in between sips of the smoothie, "This is delicious, you should make more." I knew he would like them, my famous homemade smoothies haven't failed me yet.

"Thank you, babe. I'll make more if you like it that much for sure. Gibson really needed help, you remember my friend Elizabeth? I introduced you to her a long time ago. She's the one who has her own PTSD support group, I told him to call her." I told him as I walked over to where he was, placing myself down near him.

Lucas's pov:  
"Of course I remember her. Again, what you did for Gibson was a really nice thing, it shows that you're human. You saw him hurting and lent him  a helping hand. You need to stop being so hard on yourself all the time, you always like to say you're damaged goods, but you aren't. You are a sweet, loving, compassionate, romantic, intelligent, successful, extraordinary man. I'm proud to not only call you my best friend, but my fiancé as well." I reached for Robert's hand, taking it in mine. He ran his other hand through my hair lovingly. We didn't really see each other much lately outside of coming home. I was busy with other stations around Seattle, also after our scare with HR, we had to distance ourselves professionally when it came to station 19. When  we would see each other, we would be professional with each other. So having this moment together was really nice, "I love you." He told me to which I responded, "I love you too." I got a little closer to him, letting him hold me in his arms, relaxing and letting myself get comfortable as we began cuddling with each other, "I trust you, babe. It's easier for me to open up to you because I know you'll listen to what I say without any judgment and you aren't afraid to call me out on my bullshit nor am I afraid to call you out on yours. You give me complete honesty, besides we've always been able to talk about any problems we have. Anytime we've gotten into arguments and fights with each other, we've come out of them better stronger and more enriched from getting to the root of said problems and handling them face to face, head on."

Roberts pov:  
I enjoyed the closeness of his body against mine. Usually he's more affectionate with me, he's always showering me with kisses and hugs from behind. It was nice being the one to shower him with affection for a change, "Can't wait to be able to call you my husband." I murmured softly, placing a few soft kisses to his neck. I was hitting a sweet spot he had around there because in between the tenderness of my kisses, Lucas was making pleasured noises. I smirked slightly to myself. I liked taking care of him in this way through displays of affection, cooking for him, but also I liked pleasuring him sensually. Although, obviously a relationship is more than just sex. It's no secret that I'm a fan of sex, I was gonna show him a good time later on. I know what my man wants and needs, he may not express it but I can surely tell when he wants me to be the one in charge, and this was one of those days and times where he needed this.


	15. Honesty is the best policy

Lucas's pov:  
"Sully, you're still seeing the grief counselor?"  
I asked Robert. He looked over at me saying, "I'm still having my sessions " I smiled at his response, "I was just making sure you remember to keep going to your sessions." 

Roberts pov:  
"You know there's something we need to talk about. When we broke up after we couldn't stop gunning at each other's throats from picking fights with one another, you told me that you slept with Hughes. Nothing else happened after that? You told me that you called her afterwards, but you made it clear to her that it was a one time thing and it wouldn't happen again." This was something that had been bothering me. I'm not mad at him, maybe a little bit jealous of Hughes, but it didn't matter because at the end of the day he came back to me. He didn't lie to me about what happened. 

"Where's this coming from? I thought you weren't mad about it. Why on earth would I lie to you about that?" Lucas exclaimed incredulously. Even though I trusted him, I had my own insecurities & fears that he would leave me or become bored with me one of these days. 

Lucas's pov:  
"I'm only bringing this up because this is something that's been bothering me. You can't help being attracted to women, I don't expect you to ever stop. I want you to be your authentic self and live in your truth. It hurt me even though you didn't mean to hurt me, but let me make it clear to you: I will not be your side piece, not now, not ever. It made me feel like I'm not good enough for you, that I'm doing something wrong or not  giving you enough of something that you needed to go out and find it from someone else." Robert's voice rose a bit, he was staring directly into my eyes, he was confronting me on something that had been a thorn in his side.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you, Robert. We don't keep secrets from each other, you are right about that. I haven't been seeing her behind your back, I only want you. You haven't done anything wrong, I want you to know that you are more than enough for me. I fucked up and I own up to what I did. If I have to spend forever having to prove that I do love you and that you are enough for me, I will. Whatever it takes to earn that trust back." I told him, not breaking eye contact. I admitted that I fucked up. I could never lie to him, we've always been honest with each other and we've always encouraged each other to talk out any problems we have.

Roberts pov:  
"You've shown me through you're actions that I can trust you. I was hesitant to trust letting you in sexually again because to me, the trust that you have to have with your partner when it comes to sex felt broken. I'm at a place where even though I trust you, I'm afraid I could lose you and it scares me. I don't regret our relationship nor do I doubt your love or attraction to me. I love you very much, but I can't lose you. You don't need to prove it to me, I know you love me. You are always the first one to pick up on whenever something is wrong, you are always there to comfort me and tell me everything will be okay. I just want us to be able to be cool with each other again, we've been doing so well lately. You know, this is the longest we've gone without calling it quits. Before we take that plunge into marriage, I want you to know where I stand.I'm fully committed to you and I can see that you are fully committed to me. I just needed to hear you tell me that I'm enough for you. Honesty is the best policy, open communication is something I've struggled with because I've always had a hard time expressing my feelings, but you make me feel wanted, safe, and loved." My voice softened as I let him in on my inner most thoughts and feelings.


	16. Everything I could ever want

Lucas's pov:  
"I've been cheated on before, I would never put you through the pain I went through. I'll say it  again, I'm sorry for hurting you. If there's anything I can do to show you how much I care about you, I'll do it. I would never leave you or get bored of you, you are everything I could ever want in a partner. You are the complete package for me. Successful, insanely intelligent, beautiful, funny, charming, charismatic, the list is endless. I'm very attracted to you, I find you sexy as fuck. I don't want Hughes, I want you and you alone." I reassured him.

Roberts pov:  
"I miss spending time with you, we've been so busy with work it feels like we aren't seeing each other anymore. I would like for us to be able to go out on dates more, have fun, do things as a couple like we used to do. I want to be wooed again, make me feel special. I just want that intimacy back, that's all I'm saying." I admitted. I want the romance factor to return in our relationship. I was slightly frustrated by the lack of it, my insecurities showing because of my frustrations, even though he was usually affectionate with me, I missed the romance, the sparks.

Lucas's pov:  
"How about next time we have an off day, I can take you someplace really nice for dinner?" I asked him out as the idea popped into my head. I saw a small smile appear on his face. I understood what he meant. It's not that he's trying to start conflict by bringing it up, he just wants to be able to talk about what is frustrating him. I haven't been affectionate as I usually am with him and he's noticed that. This conversation was a wake up call for me.

Roberts pov:  
"I would like that, thank you for understanding and not being upset with me for being frustrated about wanting more affection and attention from you." I commented appreciatively. He was taking my feelings into consideration, which showed me he did care about me. We see each other as equals, we support each other and like to provide for each other. I leaned in, kissing him softly. He reciprocated the kiss slowly, kissing me back. The pressure of his lips against mine was welcoming to me, I let myself linger in the enjoyment of this single moment.


End file.
